It's All To Make Us Shine
by OpalWings
Summary: My own unique interpretation of post-series events, focusing on Hitomi. A story of enduring friendships, and enduring love. Now Complete, with author's notes about future projects.
1. Enduring Friendships, Enduring Love

**Title:** **It's All To Make Us Shine -- Chapter One: Enduring Friendships, Enduring Love**

**Author:** Jessica Lynn S. (starsapphirez@aol.com)

**Rating:** PG. Actually I could probably have given it a "G", but I am playin' it safe. Later chapters might go a little higher in rating.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Escaflowne. This story also makes no claims of promoting bowel regularity. I did, however, put a lot of thought and effort its writing. Please respect that. Archive? Sure, if ya ask first...and give me proper credit. **_MAJOR_ SPOILER WARNING FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT SEEN ALL 26 EPISODES OF ESCAFLOWNE.** Read at your own risk.

**Summary:** My own unique interpretation of post-series events, focusing on Hitomi. A story of enduring friendships and enduring love. In this chapter, Hitomi celebrates with her friends on Earth. Meanwhile, something has Van on edge in Gaea.

**Note:** A lot of post-series fics are harsh...leaving our hero and heroine sad, alone, and a bit out of touch with reality until something terrible happens on Gaea and Hitomi gets called back to more war and emotional turmoil. Here is a slightly different take on things. Yeah, this is dripping with sap...and everything is going sickeningly perfect. Worry not, though, this is only the first chapter. There will probably be about four chapters by the time this is complete. I am a bit disheartened by the miniscule amount of reviews my companion pieces on Folken and Van have gotten, so pwease let me know what you think of this one - whether your opinion be positive or negative - and I will love you forever. Much love to Desi and Rizu for supporting me in their own little ways. ________________________________________________________________________________ 

_"Is everyone this lonely when they're in love?_

They embrace a pain deeper than the shadows

It's all to make us shine, I just know it"

- "No Need to Promise" 

The day was coming to a close as sweetly and masterfully as a symphony. The world was bathed in golden pools of light by the setting sun, as city lights lit up like fireflies across a field of concrete. The color of the sky itself was echoed perfectly in the sweet pink shade of the frothy strawberry milkshake in Hitomi's glass. 

Amano lifted his glass to propose a toast. "To Hitomi's victory!" he announced triumphantly. 

"And many more victories to come!" added Yukari with a smile. 

Three glasses clanked sharply, the sound resonating for a moment above the constant rhythm of the evening traffic. Hitomi blushed self-consciously and furiously dove into her drink, slurping with a vengeance. Within a minute it was gone. "Mmm." she smiled, "That was good, thanks Yukari." 

"Some things never change, do they Hitomi?" Yukari jokingly chided her ill-mannered best friend, shaking her finger at her. 

"Sorry, Yukari." Hitomi offered, leaning back against the white cement bench. She had placed first in the girls' time trials at the afternoon's track meet, helping to earn a victory for her school. Amano, on the other hand had only come in third. 

Yukari's expression softened. "I am impressed by how much your running has improved, ever since you returned from...Gaea, was it?" she said to Hitomi, then added with a grin, "We should send Amano off there for a while. He has been slacking!" Without realizing that Amano had taken a mouthful of soda, Yukari elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to spit it out all over the table. "Oops!" she cried out and slouched low in her seat, hiding her face. "I'm sorry!" Hitomi suppressed a giggle. 

Amano wiped his face with a napkin and regained his dignity. "Darling," he smiled as he mopped the table dry with the same napkin, "I haven't been able to devote as much time to track because I've been so busy taking you out. But if you insist that I get more practice, we really don't have to go to that new movie tonight. I only want to make you happy." 

"I was joking!" Yukari waved her hands in the air. Amano leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek. Yukari's face was still red with embarrassment. 

Hitomi smiled warmly at her friends. They were really something. They bickered at times but it was all in good nature. They had a way of challenging each other to grow, while at the same time being unconditionally supportive. Hitomi's thoughts turned fondly to a certain Fanelian king with whom she shared a similar existence. 

"Are you daydreaming, Hitomi?" asked Yukari, amused. 

"No!" said Hitomi quickly, "I was just thinking about how the two of you fight like a married couple!" 

"Oh really?" said Yukari, in mock threat rather than question. 

"Yes really!" Hitomi rose to her friend's challenge. 

"Why you!" hissed Yukari, diving at her friend. Hitomi flinched as Yukari ruffled her hair until it stood on end. 

"Who fights like a married couple now?" asked Amano, winking. 

"You only wish, you pervert!" Yukari muttered. 

"You're beautiful." said Amano, and leaned in to kiss her again. Yukari giggled. 

"You are a disaster tonight, aren't you Yukari?" asked Hitomi, smiling as she smoothed her hair back down into it's usual position. In truth, she was happy to see Yukari loosening up and having a little bit of fun as opposed to being her typical worrisome self. 

"She's a hurricane, all right." said Amano, looking at Yukari with love in his eyes. 

The couple was getting just a bit too mushy for Hitomi's comfort. They obviously needed some private time. She looked at her watch. "I think your movie starts in half an hour, I better see you off." 

"Okay." nodded Yukari, capturing Hitomi in a warm embrace. After a moment, she released her. 

"Bye Hitomi!" said Amano, capturing Yukari's hand in his own and leading her out into the street. 

"Seeya later, Hitomi!" shouted Yukari over her shoulder, waving to her friends. 

"Bye you two, have lots of fun!" Hitomi answered. She sat back down on the bench for a moment to savor the last moments of the sunset, before skipping off to catch her train home. 

***

The tracks clicked rhythmically beneath the train, as it rocked gently back and forth, making it's way through the city. Hitomi stared out the window, watching a few bright stars emerge from the glowing twilight sky. She looked up at the moon; half expecting to see not one moon, but two. All she saw was a singular crescent, it's edges blurred by factory smog. 

Her friends didn't really know why her running had improved so drastically on Gaea. She didn't talk much about her experiences there. Amano and Yukari had been shocked enough by the whole ordeal to begin with. She didn't wish to alienate them with stories of war, of horrible blood-drenched visions, of catgirls and an accursed winged race. If she told them of her adventures, they would listen. They had seen Van slay the dragon with their own eyes. But they would never fully understand what she'd gone through. Therefore, she kept her story to herself, like a pendant tucked away in the deep velvety recesses of a jewelry box. She simply told her friends that Gaea was a beautiful place. They didn't press her any further. 

***

The hour was growing late. Van paced the hallways of the castle uneasily, with a torch in one hand and the other hand on the hilt of his sword. The fabric of his dark green sleeping robe rustled around him as he walked. All seemed to be well, but he was still uneasy. Allen and Celena were visiting Fanelia, offering much-needed shipments of food from Asturia. Van was pleased with the assistance, and was happy to see his comrade once again. But Van could not trust the girl who was once Dilandu. She had only emerged from the secrecy of her room for dinner, and there she had said nothing. She stabbed at her food in peculiar patterns, taking the utmost fascination in the sharp prongs of her fork. It sent bitter chills up his spine. 

He finished his round of inspection at the door of Merle's room, and went inside to check on her. The little catgirl was soundly and peacefully asleep. He smiled and stooped down to replace a cover which had slipped down to her feet. He took great care not to wake her, for fear that if he did, she would keep him awake all night. With one last glance around the room, he exited and retired to his own chambers defeatedly. He was still uneasy. 

He sat in his bed, removing the pendant from around his neck and lifting it to his cheek. "Hitomi..." he said softly, projecting a warm smile into his words, "I trust your track meet today went well." 

The room was silent for a moment until he heard her sweet, sleepy voice in his mind. "Yes Van, I took first place. Yukari and Amano treated me to dessert. It was an exciting day, and a peaceful evening." 

"My most sincere congratulations." Van paused. "Hitomi," he whispered. "I am troubled. I do not know if I will be sleeping very well tonight." 

"What's wrong, Van?" she asked in concern. 

"Allen came today." he answered, "I was glad to see him. He brought his sister with him, though. She is sleeping in this castle tonight, and I dread that there will not be a castle in the morning. I cannot see how Allen has forgotten what she once was." 

"I don't think he's forgotten." said Hitomi. "After all, she was changed. Changed like Folken was, except a bit more drastically." 

Van's heart sank a notch at the mention of his brother's name. He wished Folken was there to see the peaceful Fanelia he had always dreamed of as it was finally coming into being. Hitomi must have sensed the unintended side-effect of her words. 

"Don't be sad, Van. I'm sorry." 

"You have no need to be. What's happened has happened." 

"Do you think she feels bad for the things she did as Dilandu? Things which were beyond her control? That could be why she is avoiding you...and it doesn't sound as if you are making much of an effort to be approachable." she stated quickly, yet thoughtfully. 

"Her behavior is so peculiar. She hid in the room I'd given to her for the entire day. She twitched and fidgeted throughout the entire dinner, she played with her food more then she ate it. Then she went right back to her room. She seems..." Van trailed off. It was suddenly blatantly obvious to him that Celena was unhappy. It was obvious that she would probably rather be anywhere other than Fanelia. The girl felt afraid and guilty; not secretive and scheming as she had appeared to him before. He wondered why that realization had been so hard to make. 

"I doubt your distrust in her does service to anyone." said Hitomi. "Despite your unease, you have allowed her to stay. I think that if you would have genuinely perceived her as a threat in your heart you would have turned her away. If she attacks you, she attacks you, whether you trust her or not. I think you and Allen could subdue her if need be. But if you have faith in her she may surprise you. People always return your feelings." 

Van smiled. "As always, Hitomi, you know me better than I know myself." He knew she was right. Celena was basically alone in the world except for her brother, alone against the battery of doubt and suspicion surrounding her. He suddenly couldn't blame her for feeling akward. Celena desperately needed someone to call a friend, though he wasn't yet comfortable enough with who she was to fill that role. "I am sorry for bothering you this late, Hitomi." he continued. "You have school tomorrow, you should rest." 

"You have a kingdom to rebuild, YOU should rest." she retorted. 

"Merle sends her love as always. And I love you, very much. Thank you for the advice." 

"I love you too Van, sleep well." Van returned Hitomi's pendant to it's place around his neck and nestled into his blankets. Their conversation had helped infinitely. He stared up at the ceiling above him until his eyelids grew heavy, then he drifted off to sleep. 

***

As the morning sun broke through the window, Hitomi awoke to find a feather by her pillow. She smiled. She was growing quite the collection of them. The thought of stuffing a pillow with them occurred to her briefly. She lifted it to her face, running it across her cheek and breathing in it's scent. 


	2. No Need to Apologize

**Title:** **It's All To Make Us Shine -- Chapter Two: No Need to Apologize**

**Author:** Jessica Lynn S. (starsapphirez@aol.com)

**Rating:** PG, once again. Later chapters might go a little higher in rating.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Escaflowne. I also cannot fit a live mollusk up my nose. There are some facts in life which just need to be accepted. I did, however, put a lot of thought and effort writing this fanfic. Please respect that. Archive? Sure, if ya ask first...and give me proper credit. **_MAJOR_ SPOILER WARNING FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT SEEN THE ENTIRE SERIES.** Read at your own risk.

**Summary:** My own unique interpretation of post-series events, focusing on Hitomi. A story of enduring friendships and enduring love. In this chapter, Hitomi opens up a little bit to Yukari about her time on Gaea. On Gaea, Celena has something to say to Van...

**Note:** My apologies for the cliff-hanger at the end of this chapter, but it is definitely not the end of the story. There will be at least two more chapters before this thing comes to a close. On an unrelated note; when I started this fic, I wanted to focus a little more on Celena's struggles, but it just didn't fit together with the whole Van and Hitomi romance thing. At a later time I may do a story devoted just to Celena. She is a really interesting character.

Thanks for the reviews. Even though there were only two of them, they were muchly appreciated. Keep 'em coming, will ya people?

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"What could you do with a feather?" Hitomi asked Yukari, during their lunch. "I mean, to keep it as a souvenir?" she quickly added, after receiving a baffled look from her friend. 

"Well, hmm..." Yukari thought for a moment. "You could braid it into some nice cord, to make a necklace?" 

"I don't have much of a talent for that." Hitomi frowned. 

"Well, I could come over after school and help you." Yukari offered. 

***

Later, the two girls sat cross-legged on Hitomi's bed. Yukari tied the last knot in the black leather cord and presented Hitomi with a new necklace. The white Draconian feather was complimented with small cherry wooden beads, woven into the braids. Hitomi placed it around her neck. Now she just needed to find some use for the other fourteen feathers in the bottom of her drawer... 

"What is the significance of the feather, if I might inquire?" Yukari asked. Hitomi glanced around the room, unsure of how to answer. "Oh...Gaea." said Yukari thoughtfully. A silent moment passed before Yukari spoke again. "So Hitomi, did you ever kiss him?" 

The question caught Hitomi totally off-guard, and for a split second, her eyes went as wide as saucers. "Kiss who?" she asked, leaning back against the pillows. She was going to pretend she hadn't the foggiest idea as to who Yukari was talking about. 

"You know perfectly well who I'm talking about." said Yukari. "Mr. Knight in Shinning Armor...said he was prince of something. I don't remember his name." 

"Van?" Hitomi asked. It was obvious that Yukari suspected something, she had given it away in her body language, Yukari was astute when it came to that. Denying it would no longer be of any use. "He is a king now. No, actually I never did kiss him, with the circumstances and all. But I suppose that I will, the next time that I see him." 

"Ahh, so it is true!" Yukari grinned wide her, beaming with happiness for her friend. "A king, eh?" she winked. 

Hitomi misinterpreted Yukari's intentions. "I don't know why I told you, if you are going to pick on me about it." she grunted. 

"It's not that I wanted to pick on you..." Yukari said, her face taking on a more serious expression. "I suspected it since you disappeared to Gaea. You and Van had sort of a similar look, you know? And the way you talked to each other from the beginning, there was a strange sort of connection. I mean, you had said you had a vision of him. What could be more perfect? Actually it puts my mind to ease to know for sure. Now I know that I don't have to feel guilty for taking Amano." 

"Oh Yukari, I am the one who should feel guilty for that!" gasped Hitomi, moving up beside her friend to hug her. "It should have been obvious to me how much you've loved him, you always have! But I only saw my own desires." 

"Hey, no need to apologize." said Yukari, breaking free of Hitomi's suffocatingly tight embrace. "I hid my feelings for your benefit. But really, it doesn't matter. We're both happy now, right?" 

"Yes." said Hitomi, smiling warmly. 

"So...when will you see him again?" Yukari asked, turning the subject back to Van Fanel. 

"I don't exactly know." said Hitomi, contemplatively. "I have a feeling it won't be too long from now. Travel between our worlds really isn't as hard as you think it would be, but nonetheless, it is not a power I want to abuse." 

"Ahh, I see." said Yukari, and began to offer Hitomi some advice on kissing out of her own experiences. Hitomi was only half-listening though. She already knew how to kiss, she and Allen had kissed many times. It wasn't something that she would have felt particularly comfortable telling Yukari about. 

It was strange, kissing Allen. It wasn't like she thought it would be. He was always the initiator, and though he was skilled with his tongue, she always felt a strange emptiness in him when he was close to her. That emptiness reached deep down inside of him and she felt as if his love for her was only a feeble attempt to fill it; like swallowing air when one is hungry and malnourished. But perhaps she was guilty of the same crime. She did not love Allen. She desired closeness and human affection, something tangible in the strange world in which she had found herself. And so, she found herself wrapped up in his blue eyes. She saw the knight through the rose-colored glasses of infatuation, instead of for who he really was, but the fantasy began to fade when she was finally in his arms. Their short-lived romance was an empty shell. 

She imagined that kissing Van would be much different, because just in his embrace she felt such intensity; such electricity. The feeling of love was warm and full. She owed that kiss to him, if only for how pained his eyes had been the first time he had seen her kiss Allen. Yukari finished her lecture on kissing technique, and brought up two of their friends from school who had just started going out. It was a welcome change of subject. Hitomi ceased daydreaming, and returned her full attention to the conversation. They chatted for a few hours and had dinner as darkness fell outside the window. Finally it was time for Yukari to go home. Hitomi walked her friend to the bus stop. 

"Tomorrow, I am going away to my grandmother's house in the countryside." said Yukari, "I will be gone for three days." 

"I'll have to treat you to dessert when we get back. I owe you one for the help with the necklace." said Hitomi. 

"All right, I'll hold you to it." said Yukari. "I was thinking that maybe when I get back, you could tell me more about your time in Gaea? I know I have been busy with Amano, but I haven't forgotten you...you're still my best friend." 

Hitomi smiled. "I suppose I will try. Some of it is still hard to talk about." she confessed. "It wasn't as perfect as I make it out to be." 

"I understand." said Yukari. "You know, it seems I was the one who used to hide things from you, and you would tell me everything. It seems that's been reversed. But I know how hard it can be to keep things inside." She paused. "At the very least, you have to tell me more about Van!" she smirked. 

Hitomi promised that she would. Yukari's bus pulled up to the curb, and the friends said their farewells. As she walked back to her house alone, Hitomi couldn't help but feel closer to Yukari than she had in a long time. She was smiling from ear-to-ear, but as the warm and fuzzy feeling subsided she felt a strange sense of worry. She dismissed it. Yukari went away to her grandmother's nearly every month. It was probably just some residual anxiety left over from her travels in a war-torn world where the unexpected lurked around every corner. 

***

After a day of political discussion, a sleepy Van was making his nightly rounds through the castle once again. When he walked into Merle's room, he received quite a shock. Merle was snoring comfortably...with her arm draped over Celena?! Celena had been asleep, but she stirred and looked up at Van. He jumped back nearly two feet, startled. She climbed out of the bed and made a small step towards him, tears forming in the corners of her wide blue eyes. 

"Van..." she whispered, "I need to tell you. I am so sorry." He stood, simply watching her, not sure what she was apologizing for. Her lip quivered, and a few of the tears ran down the sides of her face. "I am so sorry for destroying your kingdom." she said. With that, she broke eye contact and fell to her knees, sobbing hard. "I would have never have done it, really, I wouldn't have...if I had been myself at the time." 

Great, thought Van to himself, an emotional woman. Even after Hitomi's outbursts, he never had figured out quite how to cope with one. Merle continued to snore, offering him no rescue. Hesitantly, he offered Celena his hand. She accepted it timidly, and he pulled her to her feet. "Celena, go back to sleep." he looked her in the eye. "Put these thoughts of Dilandu far from your mind. I am sure your brother has already explained to you that what happened was beyond your control." 

"He has." acknowledged Celena, "I know it is true, but the guilt still burdens me. I cannot stand to think of my past." She had stopped crying, and wiped the last of her tears from her cheeks, much to Van's relief. 

"Few people know that there was any connection between you and Dilandu." he reassured her. "Even to those who do, you have a new beginning. You have a new chance to prove yourself. In the country of Freid one proves themselves by their deeds, and so it shall also be in Fanelia. I am going to bed now, but you can stay here if you wish." 

"Thank you." Celena bowed, as Van turned to exit the room. He was surprised Celena and Merle had made friends, especially given Merle's unfriendly attitude towards most strangers. Then again, Allen had told him that Celena had an affinity for beastmen. Van couldn't say that he wasn't pleased with the arrangement. Merle was far too dependent on him and he was a busy man, especially with all the work that needed to be done to restore Fanelia. He only wanted for her to be happy, but he could not give her all the time that she deserved. Maybe now there was someone who could, even if it was someone rather unexpected. Van retired to his chambers, lifted the pendant, and began his nightly ritual... 

***

Hitomi walked through her door three days later, after a long and tiresome day at school. She carried a heavy armload of books and papers. The phone rang, and she carefully shifted her books under her left arm so that her right was free to answer the call. "Hello?" she said into the phone. A few moments passed. Her eyes went wide. 

"I see..." was all she could say. "I am on my way." With shaking hands, she hung up the phone and allowed all her books to fall, crashing to the floor. She sprinted out the front door and ran for a bus the fastest she had run since someone's life had been in danger on Gaea. 


	3. In the Arms of An Angel

**Title:** **It's All To Make Us Shine -- Chapter Three: In the Arms of An Angel**

**Author:** Jessica Lynn S. (starsapphirez@aol.com)

**Rating:** PG-13; this is pretty dramatic.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Escaflowne. I do not own a chorus which follows me, chanting ominously whenever I enter a room, either. What a pity, I should hire one. Jokes aside, I put a lot of thought and effort writing this fanfic. Please respect that. Archive? Sure, if ya ask first...and give me proper credit. **_MAJOR_ SPOILER WARNING FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT SEEN THE ENTIRE SERIES.** Read at your own risk.

**Summary:** My own unique interpretation of post-series events, focusing on Hitomi. A story of enduring friendships and enduring love. In this chapter, something has gone wrong. Where is Hitomi running off to with such urgency? And why is Van leaving the country? This chapter has an illustration, whoohoo!

**Note:** Lest you think I am horrible, I really do hate putting the characters in this sort of situation. But you cannot have a well-balanced story without struggle. On the bright side, you do get to see a little more into Van's mind here. (Yeah, I know that the chapter's title is way over-used...but it is a pretty song. That's my excuse.) This is the second-last chapter of the story, so hold on tight! And I beg of you, review! (Also check out my other Escaflowne story, "Dance of Curse." It needs some lovin'.)

**Illustration:** http://opalfire.sweetconfetti.net/shine.jpg -- By the author, who is afterall, an art major. ;) 

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_"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart_

and sings it back to you when you have forgotten the words." 

-Unknown 

***

Van had time between his late-afternoon council meeting and dinner to go for a stroll alone in what had once been the castle's garden. Most of the debris had been removed, but since there were more pressing matters at hand than the planting of flowers, it had become overgrown with weeds. He sat down on an ancient stone bench beside the castle wall; one which had quite remarkably survived Zaibach's attack. He was in an uncharacteristically pleasant mood. He leaned back, closing his eyes as he turned his face toward the blue sky. The sunlight played gently upon his skin, and a breeze tossed about the dark, thick strands of his hair. He inhaled deeply, practically melting against the sun-warmed stone. 

He opened his eyes again, surveying the land. He had big plans for the garden. He envisioned a life-sized bronze statue to commemorate the life of Folken Fanel, standing tall and regal with wings outstretched toward the heavens. It would be a fine tribute to his brother. Perhaps it would rest atop a majestic fountain, with water flowing down into smaller ponds filled with bright ornamental fish. Flowers would be everywhere, as they once had. Birds and butterflies would be abundant. The garden would be even better than it was before, just like the entire kingdom. 

Suddenly the air seemed filled with the charge of electricity; like that before a storm. It carried with it a prominent sense of sadness and grief. Van was jolted from his daydream. A wave of confusion and nausea coursed through his body. He shivered violently; beads of sweat dripping down his face. It was then that Merle turned the corner of the castle wall to find him sitting there. "Van-sama!" she cried, running towards him. "What's wrong?!" Her delicate features contorted with worry. 

Van sat up and clutched the pendant around his neck. "Merle, please fetch Allen, and quickly!" he commanded. "I need to speak with him... I will be leaving the kingdom for a little while." He lowered his head. Feeling the urgency of Van's words, Merle scampered off to search for Allen. 

"Now I know why Hitomi detested those visions..." muttered Van. He shook off the last of the panicked feeling which had overwhelmed him, but it left a sad anxiety in its wake 

***

It was raining hard on Earth, and Hitomi's hair and clothes were soaked to prove it. Her cheeks were soaked equally with tears, and drained of their usual color. The dozens of machines monitoring her friend's vital signs beeped and clamored loudly, but Yukari laid completely motionless in the hospital bed. Hitomi watched her in silence, until she heard the door open behind her. It was Amano. 

"Yukari!" he shouted, running to the bedside and clasping his girlfriend's frail hand. Tears threatened in his eyes. He turned to look at Hitomi. "I came as fast as I could." he said to her. 

"She's not conscious..." said Hitomi, "she hasn't been since the accident." 

"I see." said Amano, easing Yukari's hand back down to her side. Without warning, he launched himself into Hitomi's arms and bawled into her shoulder, soaking her shirt even more thoroughly. Hitomi reached up a hand to softly stroke his hair. "I am so afraid, Hitomi..." he whimpered through his tears. 

"I am afraid too." she said. She did not know what more she could do or say to be of any comfort to him. She was still in shock herself. Yukari's mother had warned her of what to expect before she entered the room. The accident had been a bad one. Yukari had suffered a lot of internal bleeding, on top of several fractures. She had spent hours in surgery to repair the damage, but it was anyone's guess whether her damaged organs would begin to function smoothly again. Yukari's father had been badly hurt as well, but his condition wasn't as critical. Hitomi feared that she might loose her best friend. She and Amano stood, watching Yukari's face for any signs of life for what seemed like hours. Once and a while she would stir slightly, but the effects of anethstesia had yet to wear off. Finally a nurse regretfully informed them that the visiting hours were over for everyone but immediate family. 

The rain didn't let up as Hitomi walked alone to the train, and from the train to her home. She had felt profound and encompassing fear when Allen and Van had been critically injured in battle, but Yukari's accident was totally unexpected. Hitomi hadn't expected that an oncoming truck could do as much damage as a guymelef's sword; to someone who was so powerless to deflect it. She felt paralyzed and numb inside and out, unaware of the sights and sounds around her. She was so unaware of her surroundings that when she walked into her bedroom, she did not notice the winged sillouhette perched upon her mattress. The dark form was studying her CD player with a frightened fascination. 

***

Van put down the intimidating mechanical object when he saw Hitomi enter the room, turning his full attention to her. She didn't see him. "Hitomi..." he said softly, as not to startle her. She turned to face him. He retracted his wings. Feathers drifted in all directions, falling across the room. 

"Van?" she asked in disbelief. For the entire night, he had been the farthest person from her mind. She walked into his embrace, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, but her body seemed listless and unusually fragile in his arms. And sopping wet. 

"You're soaked, Hitomi!" he said with alarm upon that realization. "You'll catch cold!" 

"I am?" Hitomi responded flatly, "Oh." Her eyes stared off somewhere in the distance. 

Van rooted through a pile of laundry on her dresser, until he found a nightgown. He turned his head respectfully as he helped her out of her rain-soaked clothes and pulled the warm, dry gown over her head. Wrapped in the soft and cottony fabric, Hitomi sat down on her bed. Van sat down beside her. He cupped her chin in his left hand and lifted her face, looking into her eyes. "What's wrong, Hitomi?" he asked her. She collapsed softly against him, resting her head on his chest. Choking back the tears which threatened, she could barely even say his name. 

"Van..." she breathed silently. Just one tear fell, which he lovingly wiped from her cheek with his thumb. He rested the other hand on the back of her neck and began to knead gently at the knot which her muscles had formed there. 

"What is it?" he asked again. 

"It's Yukari." Hitomi whispered, as a few more tears fell. "She was in an accident. She was hurt very badly...." She sniffled and the tears gave way to a flood. "I might loose her. I don't want to loose her, Van!" she sobbed. 

"Oh, Hitomi." he said, wiping away the tears again. He wrapped himself protectively around her small form, as if he could somehow shelter her from the pain she was feeling. He smoothed a few stray strands of hair from her eyes and lowered his face to kiss her cheek. All the while, he searched for the right words to say. Saying the right thing had always been Hitomi's talent, not his. What would she say were the situation reversed? What could he say to offer some hope? 

"Yukari is a strong girl, right?" he asked, finally. "You always speak so fondly of her." 

"Yes..." said Hitomi, "But she didn't look so strong tonight. She looked tiny and helpless, with all of those machines around her." 

"Well," Van pondered for a moment, "did I look very strong after I had fused with Escaflowne? When it was damaged in battle and I wouldn't stop bleeding?" Hitomi thought back to the sight of Van writhing on a table as the blood soaked through the layers of his bandages and Allen struggled desperately to hold him down. 

"No," she said. "Merle and I were so afraid for you. But Dryden said that you would live, if you survived the pain. I told Merle that if anyone could survive, it would be you." 

A lightbulb switched on in Van's mind. "So you had confidence in me," he said, looking deep into Hitomi's eyes, "you believed in me, despite the odds." He paused. "I know how close I was to death, it would have only taken a few more hours. But do that for Yukari, now. Believe that she will be okay. If what you have told me before is true - what my mother told you in the Mystic Valley - then your belief alone should help her." 

Hitomi smiled a little bit. "I'll try." she said. 

"You look exhausted, Hitomi." said Van. "You need to sleep. But I'll stay right here with you." He stripped off his tear-soaked shirt and threw it on the floor on top of Hitomi's drenched clothes. She slipped under her blankets. He laid down facing her, and she nuzzled into the warmth of his shoulder. He smelled of grass and wind and Gaea. As always, he smelled wonderful. 

"Van?" she said. 

"Hmm?" he asked. 

"I am glad that you're here." 

"I am glad too. I missed you, Hitomi. I missed you so much." His voice was soft and melodic. He snuggled against her. 

The rain outside slowed to a light and steady rhythm. A deep, peaceful sleep found the lovers quickly as they laid in one anothers' arms. They stayed that way until the rays of the late-morning sun broke through the clouds and the window shutters, beating down warmly upon them. 

***

It was a blessing that Mrs. Kanzaki had left her daughter to sleep out of sympathy for her situation, rather than coming in to wake her for school and finding the raven-haired boy curled up in her bed. Hitomi was the first to wake. She looked at Van with dreamy, half-lidded eyes. 

"Van..." she said, running her finger down the slope of his pointed nose. "It's morning." He opened his eyes and looked at her. 

"So it is." he said. He sat up and stretched out his arms, releasing a yawn "Shall we go see Yukari, then?" 

"Yes," said Hitomi. "But first you'll have to allow me to get dressed. I should find you a different shirt, too, so that you don't look so conspicuous." 

"You drenched mine last night, anyway." he smiled. 

"Oh, I'm sorry." she blushed. 

"Eh, it's fine." he waved his hand in dismissal. A small bird perched itself on the windowsill and chattered gleefully, as the new day set the world in motion. 


	4. Love That Shines Conciously

**Title:** **It's All To Make Us Shine -- Chapter Four: Love That Shines Conciously**

**Author:** Jessica Lynn S. (starsapphirez@aol.com)

**Rating:** This chapter gets a PG, but the fic in general is PG-13.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Escaflowne. I cannot think of anything witty to say here, for once so I'll just get right down to business. I put a lot of thought and effort writing this fanfic. Please respect that. Archive? Sure, if ya ask first...and give me proper credit. **_MAJOR_ SPOILER WARNING FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT SEEN THE ENTIRE SERIES.** Read at your own risk.

**Summary:** My own unique interpretation of post-series events, focusing on Hitomi. A story of enduring friendships and enduring love. *Now Complete*

**Notes:** In response to Kelly's question, this takes place less than a year after the ending of the series. I'd figure it to be somewhere around 3-5 months afterward, really not all that long. My apologies for how long it took me to get this posted. See the end of the fic for further notes. 

________________________________________________________________________________ 

_"Look so close beside you_

Carry your instincts

Love that shines conciously

So clearly for those who hold inside" 

- "I Recommend Instincts", Escaflowne Soundtrack 

***

Van's face was plastered to the window of the train. "Hitomi, what's that?!" he would ask time and again, pointing to various vehicles and buildings. She did her best to explain to him what he was seeing, but he still seemed both fascinated and baffled by the strange new world he was confronted with. The other riders gave him puzzled glances, assuming he must be a tourist. It amused Hitomi as she remembered how she had gawked at the strange people and rituals of Gaea. Eventually Van gave up on trying to figure out the function of every last object in the city, and snuggled under Hitomi's arm for the remainder of the ride. 

Back at the Kanzaki residence, Van's sleeveless red shirt tumbled in the dryer. Van had wanted to know all about the washing machine and dryer. He watched them running as if he had never seen such a thing in his life, and he hadn't. Hitomi had dressed him in one of her brother's t-shirts. Her brother was two years younger than her, and the shirt had been big on him. It fit Van perfectly. The white fabric clung just enough to give an effect of the slender, yet muscular form beneath it. Hitomi liked it a lot. Van seemed to like the fuzzy jacket Hitomi was wearing. He kept stroking her arm. "So soft..." he repeated, again and again, smiling like a child. 

Hitomi absentmindedly played with Van's hair, tangling her fingers in the thick, silky strands. He sighed happily at her touch. They hadn't heard any news of Yukari. Hitomi assumed that no news was good news. Or at the very least, not bad news. The worst case scenario would be that Yukari's condition had not changed. Still, that prospect worried her. Van's warm and loving presence helped to calm her fear, but it did not completely abate it. The train reached its destination, and it stopped with a creak. 

***

Yukari sat up in her hospital bed, propping herself weakly against the rail. The noon sun cast a halo of amber across her mussed red hair. She smiled wide with half-lidded eyes when Hitomi walked in to the room. Tears of happiness streamed down Hitomi's face at the sight of her friend awake. Van had been right, Yukari was stronger than she had given her credit for. She ran and embraced Yukari tightly. 

"Oww, don't squeeze so hard, Hitomi! My ribs are broken!" Yukari moaned softly. 

"I'm sorry." said Hitomi, letting her friend go. "I am so happy to see you. I was so worried..." More tears dampened her cheeks. 

"I am happy to see you too." said Yukari, her voice groggy and weighted from the consistant interveinous drip of painkillers she was receiving. "I am sorry for giving you such a scare. But don't get all sappy on me now." Yukari's eyebrow rose then, as she looked to see Van peeking through the doorway uncertainly. Her eyes lit up. "Ahh, Hitomi...you are really something, you know? I asked you to tell me about Van when I returned from my trip, but instead you went through all the trouble of bringing him to see me." With her hand, she gestured for Van to come in. 

He awkwardly made his way to the bedside and bowed formally to Yukari. 

Yukari sized him up. "I guess he is pretty cute in the daylight, Hitomi. That and he isn't covered with green dragon blood this time...or copping such an attitude." Van's cheeks turned red. He lowered his eyes and made his way to a chair in the corner of the room, deciding to stay out of a conversation in which he was more of an object than a person. He was glad to see Hitomi's friend well, and Hitomi happy, but he felt a bit akward. He had only met Yukari once before, and she was right -- he hadn't exactly made the best impression. 

"So you really are okay?" Hitomi asked, totally ignoring Yukari's attempt to poke fun at Van is if in disbelief that her friend was really alive and breathing. 

"Yup." Yukari nodded, matter-of-factly. 

"I am so glad!" Hitomi said, hugging Yukari again. 

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO SQUEEZE SO HARD!" Yukari practically shouted. 

"Oops! I'm sorry." said Hitomi, releasing Yukari from her iron grip. 

"It will be at least a week before I can return to school, though. Probably more. I will need to rest at home after I leave here." said Yukari. "In the meantime, Amano will bring my homework to me, so that I can stay caught up. He came by earlier to visit, and I sent him to retrieve some books from my house to keep me busy. He was very afraid for me too. Honestly, it's touching to see how much the two of you care about me, but I won't be weak forever. You don't have to dote on me like a child." She looked in to Hitomi's eyes, allowing her words to sink in. 

"Well, you have always done that to me..." said Hitomi. 

"That's just because you _need_ someone to look after you." said Yukari, "Or else you forget your tests and papers and meets. You might even forget to breathe." she smirked. Hitomi knew Yukari's words had a grain of truth, but she was embellishing upon it. Regardless, after what she had gone through, Yukari had a right to do embellish...for the time being. 

"You've been working so hard in school that you deserve a vacation." Hitomi said. "Hey, I was supposed to treat you to dessert, wasn't I? I could always bring some ice cream here for you, from our favorite parlor. You are allowed to eat ice cream in here, right?" 

"Yes," said Yukari, "but just now I don't feel like eating." She hushed her tone to a whisper, and indicated to Van, who was staring absentmindedly in to the hallway. "Perhaps your boyfriend over there would like to accept the treat in my place?" 

"I wish he could. But I don't know when he needs to return to Gaea. Probably soon." Hitomi sad, frowning a bit. 

"Ahh..." said Yukari, "Well, it is always worth a try. But before he leaves, don't forget..." she puckered her lips and winked, conveying the rest to Hitomi wordlessly. Hitomi nodded, smiling slyly. 

It was then that Amano walked into the room. "Good afternoon, Hitomi." he said, giving a slight nod in her direction. He walked to Yukari's side and kissed her chastely on the lips, then handed her a stack of novels he had procured from her bookshelf. He said nothing for a moment, but his eyes glinted with a profound admiration. 

Yukari smiled. "Thanks for bringing the books." She reached up a feeble hand and patted Amano on the head. "Good boy." she said. They embraced, but unlike Hitomi, Amano was mindful of Yukari's injuries and made every effort not to aggravate them. They whispered softly back and forth. Hitomi stood silently in respect. 

When he finally backed away from Yukari, Amano caught sight of Van in the corner. His eyes went wide. "Ack, it's you again!" he exclaimed, startled. 

"That's the best greeting I've had all day..." muttered Van inaudibly to himself. 

"There are no dragons coming this time, are there?" asked Amano, worried. 

"Amano, don't be silly." said Yukari. "That is Van, Hitomi's boyfriend!" 

"Ah ha!" Amano smirked. "Why didn't you ever tell us, Hitomi? No wonder you were so happy when you came home from Gaea... Congratulations, Van. She is a wonderful girl." 

In response to that, Van met Amano's eyes with a slight smile. 

"She told _me_ about him." giggled Yukari, teasingly proclaiming her superiority over Amano, but her giggles quickly got the best of her. They caused a sharp pain in her cracked ribs and she gasped in discomfort. Amano was back by her side in an instant to see if she was okay. She waved her hand in the air. "It's nothing Amano, really." 

"Nothing, eh?" he asked, stroking her cheek. She smiled up at him with big, wide eyes. 

Sensing the air of intimacy between her friends, Hitomi decided it was time for she and Van to bid them farewell and allow them some time to theirselves. She said a quick goodbye to, this time being more careful of Yukari's injuries and hugging only her arm. Van bowed again to both Yukari and Amano. 

"Goodbye Hitomi! Goodbye Van!" Yukari said, smiling and waving as the two made their way to the door. 

"Goodbye Yukari, I will come visit you tomorrow after school!" Hitomi said. With that, she and Van were gone. 

***

Outside the hospital, Van watched the traffic with an unreadable expression. Hitomi flung herself in to his arms. "You were right, Van." she said to him, holding him tightly. 

"I was only reminding you of what you had said so many times yourself... Oww, my ribs!" he whined with caustic humor. 

"That's not funny." Hitomi said, but the corners of her mouth were turning up slightly. She poked Van in the side, hard. He let out a startled squeak. "Oww, my ribs!" he repeated, a bit more seriously. "You'll pay for that." he groaned, but his expression softened as he stood close to her. He reached up a hand and ran it through her hair, looking lovingly in to her eyes. "I am just glad that everything is okay." he said. 

"Why did you decide to come?" Hitomi asked him. "How did you know?" The gentle breeze picked up a bit, blowing their hair around them and causing patterns of sunlight and shadow to dance across their faces. "I didn't tell you..." she said. "I was too shaken and afraid to even think of it." 

"I was sitting in the garden, and I suppose that had a vision." Hitomi raised an eyebrow. "There was no fire or seas of blood or anything like that, but it was painful nonetheless. I knew you were hurting and I had to come. I explained the situation to Allen and asked him to look after the kingdom in my abscence. It will be awful when I return though, I just know it. Ladies will be climbing the castle walls to get him! Well, they have been since he arrived..." 

Hitomi laughed, but then her eyes looked slightly sad as she asked the inevitable question which all of her others had simply delayed. "I guess you have to return to Fanelia now?" 

"Well, I have to return soon." said Van flatly, turning his glance downward. Hitomi's smile turned in to a frown, but then he rose his eyes to meet hers again. They glinted a mischievous twinkle. He took her hand in his and said, "It would mean worlds to me, though, if you would grant me the pleasure of spending this beautiful day beside you." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it in an exaggerated gesture of chivalry which subtly mocked Allen, but his words could not have been heartfelt and sincere. 

"The pleasure would be all mine." Hitomi smiled. Van hadn't been the only one to learn a few tricks from Allen, and she was about to show him one he did not yet know. She gracefully closed the distance between them and conquered his mouth in a fiery kiss, containing all the pent-up passion she had felt for ages. Van's lips parted easily for her tongue. He moved his own slowly, preferring in his inexperience to let her take the lead. But he was relishing the moment, and eventually his pace matched her own. He tasted sweet. He wrapped his arms around her and ran his fingertips along the curve of her spine. She shuddered softly, melting in to him. The moment seemed to last forever, but they both needed to breathe. 

It was just as wonderful as Hitomi had imagined it would be. She felt almost drunken as she pulled away. Van's hair was falling in his eyes, even more so than usual; and his eyes were gleaming with a dreamy expression she had never seen him wear before. He inhaled deeply. After all the time he and Hitomi had spent apart - including the time on Gaea when she was in Allen's arms - he finally felt as if his feelings had come full-circle "Hey Van?" Hitomi asked. 

"Hmm?" 

"Let's go on a date." 

"Date?" 

"What people who are in love do, here on the Mystic Moon. We can take the bus downtown to the arcade. I think you will like that." 

"Arcade?" asked Van. 

"Then we can see a movie, and I can buy you ice cream." 

"This ice cream you speak so fondly of in our evening conversations? I will be honored." 

Hitomi smirked, she was going to have a lot of fun showing her world to Van. Of course, he would have to leave again, when the sun traded places with the moon in the sky, but they had a whole day ahead of them. As it turned out, their first kiss together had only be one of many others which would occur in that day. Each one was beautifully different, a new memory which Hitomi would always keep. Parting would be sad, but she would see Van again. 

***

A month later, Hitomi sat in Yukari's living room, watching intently as Yukari hammered out the last few stitches of their project on her sewing machine. Sewing was another thing Hitomi had no talent for. Yukari handed Hitomi the cloth shell of a pillow. "You can stuff it now." she said in a cool, proud tone. 

Hitomi opened her duffel and began scooping out fistfuls of feathers, pushing them through the opening. Yukari stared, baffled. "There you are with those feathers again... I swear, Hitomi...you must have a chicken-plucking fetish." Hitomi broke in to peels of laughter, and Yukari cocked her head. 

After a few moments, Hitomi's amused expression metamorphed in to a thoughtful one. "Right before I went to Gaea, I had a vision that the ground broke apart from under me and I was falling toward certain death. That was, until an angel swooped down and caught my hand, his face ensheathed in shadow. White feathers fell everywhere..." 

"Please go on, tell me more." said Yukari, with a smile.  
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**Closing Notes:** Well, that's my story. If you poke it with a stick it oozes with sugar and sap, but I think it conveys my original purpose: depicting a future where Hitomi and Van could be happy apart, with a love that transcends the distance. A nice alternative to those fics where they are brooding or suffer from catatonia - granted those can be some great fics too, I just like to be a bit different. ;) Plus there was some righteous tongue-action between Hitomi and Van which the series neglected to show -- much to the frusturation of many of us fans. Yay for tongue-action! Heh, anyway...moving on... 

Before I get in to everything else, I would like to thank a few people. Sankyuu to Lady of the Ink, Kelly, dancegoddess, Jennie, Kiya and Serena B for their kind and helpful reviews. Thanks also to Whynn, who introduced me to Esca. 

Writing this story has spawned a lot of new ideas in my mind. I will be posting a one-shot companion piece to this within a few days; about a conversation she has with Merle, prompting the apology to Van that occured in chapter two. (The story just needs a bit more tweaking. I had wanted to post them together, but I have kept everyone waiting long enough on this chapter as it is.) As for what will come next, don't think of it as a sequel. Rather, think of this as the prequel. ;) I am going to write something that takes place three years after the series, hopefully of a longer length. I would like to go further into Van and Hitomi's relationship, with a more serious depiction where everything isn't always so happy and fluffy between them. I'd also like to explore Celena's character. 

In other news; I bought my own web domain. I am now the proud owner of opalwings.com. Once the nameserver stuff is sorted out, I will be creating an Escaflowne fanworks site. I am willing to host others' fanfiction, so if you'd like someone to host you, give me an e-mail. (starsapphirez@aol.com.) In addition to regular G-R rated fics, I am also willing to host NC-17 lemon-type fics, providing they are tastefully written (yaoi and yuri stuff included.) Now that ff.net no long accepts them, those poor homeless fics need a place to go. Well, until next time...sayonara! 


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